My Best Friends Are Bra-Burning Bitches

March 4, 2009
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Not literally, of course. (I mean, I’ve shopped with them–they have very sexy bras). Rather, my best friends are the kind of women you marry, but spend your 20s avoiding dating. Why? You prefer the bumbling brats who “discuss” American Idol and Twilight with their equally seemingly uneducated girlfriends; these are the girls who spend more time agonizing over the scale then taking an apparent interest in major world news because their ignorant media intake has overdosed.

_________________

Oh, look, more blondes who live off of men and have no intellectual assets!
“YAY! We’re generic blondes who live off of men and have no intellectual assets! KISSES!”

_________________

Desperate housewives? Wife Swap? Ugly Betty? Lipstick Jungle? The Hills? The Girls Next Door? It seems the networks have all sorts of great ideas for women. Or is it a reflection of societal demand and expectation?

In fairness, there is a time and place for a mental break and some mindless entertainment. However, this blog post is dedicated to the non-stop online, in person, and ratings climbing chatter surrounding the weekly addictions. It is clear this is above and beyond the occasionally mental break.

The best news: The bra-burning bitches didn’t notice. They were too busy embracing the real world and pursuing dreams. Of course, sometimes we’re all lucky and men with pulses shares our 20s with us; sometimes not. They earn the crass title with their confidence and “manly” take charge attitudes. Either way, sexuality and womanhood as perceived by anorexics is irrelevant and genuine (dare I say!?) ENJOYMENT is seized!

_________________

Not sure condescending perceptions of women is what our grandmothers had in mind.
Not sure condescending perceptions of women is what our grandmothers had in mind.

_________________

I don’t mean to get too deep here, but what kind of societal reflection are we allowing ourselves to be held responsible for when conversation trends, newspaper articles, and perceptions of reality are based on the most recent The Bachelor episode? How is it not blatantly obvious TV networks and media outlets are responsible for exploiting the American perception that excessive mindless, petty concepts are acceptable integrations into our daily lives?

In a generation where more and more kids are attending college, it seems we’re faced with a major critical thinking fail. I’m embarrassed to share my college degree accreditation with this manic audience base.

The next time you hear “Did you catch last night’s The Bachelor/Top Model/Rock of Love?” I have a few ideas for responses:

If this topic is outdated, why & how are rating still climbing and brand-new-episodes dominating mainstream television networks?

/rant
I’m not part of some feminist organization here, but it doesn’t require a liberal to see the imbalance. Seriously, how is this still an issue? Or are we just tired of talking about it?
Your thoughts? Opinions? Comments?

This article brought to you by the good folks at Urbane Hotels Royal Oak Michigan, Urbane Hotels Southfield Michigan, Urbane Hotels Troy Michigan, and Urbane Hotels Detroit Michigan.

Shauna

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  • http://www.thatdamnredhead.net Stacy Lukas

    I often wonder the same things. “Aren’t PAST this kind of shallow, human-Barbie-doll-glorifying mindset of society YET?!”

    There’s a reason I don’t watch TV, and you’ve explained it pretty well here. The thing is, we covered this stuff ad nauseam in all my women’s studies classes in college, half of whose students would agree up and down during class then rush home to watch whatever subliminally misogynistic reality TV show of their choice was on that night.

    … and to think, some of them chided me for having the nerve to shave my armpits.

  • Acacia

    I agree with everything in this blog. I don’t watch TV and it bewilders me how the mindless drones of people flock to the television to waste their minds away. People are confused, they are starting to think that TV is real and they are forgetting that they are living the real life. Television is entertainment plain and simple

    Check out this clip:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTN3s2iVKKI&feature=related

    Great insightful blog

  • http://twitter.com/HubertGAM Hubert

    I do want to highlight that folks understand it IS okay to consume a little mindless drivel every once and a while, but it definitely should not consume your life. As a jock-burning bloke, I’m far more interested in trying to help my downtrodden region rise from the ashes to even care about how many girls Bret Michaels kisses, but I do like to take in totally idiotic television because it reminds me that I have a brain.
    Personally, I like the best and worst television – no in-between. I only watch like about 2 hours – at most – a week.
    I live with a bra-burner that balances her CNN intake with episodes of The City in The Hills and I think that might be the best way to go about the cabin.

    Great post, Shauna. Keep ‘em coming!

  • http://shaunanicholson.com/blog/ shaunan

    Stacy & Acacia, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m listening to the video Acacia posted now. And, yes, the mindlessness absolutely applies to men as well.

    Hubert, I agree in moderation. (Why I needed to include the “in all fairness” section.) You rock. Thanks.

  • http://nerdstuff.net Fuersty

    Well, I can’t believe I am going to defend humanity here (I am staring at my glass, and it’s half full, but I digress) but here goes nothing…

    I’m not sure it’s neccessarily as bad as common perception would lead you to believe. Sure, American Idol gets ridiculous ratings (at least, I imagine it does, must like yourselves I’ve never watched it nor do I follow tv ratings) but yet, here we are. A group of reasonably well educated people sharing a discussion. It’s very easy to take a quick glimpse at the world, especially the “high gloss” exterior and say “Wow, this kind of sucks!”. Materialism, Girls Next Door, Osbournes, High Calorie Foods, whatever. Stuff that will make you shake your head. But yet, below that surface, there’s plenty of vibrant life.

    If you want to learn Muay Thai, there very well may be a former Thai champion a few miles from your house who spends 20+ hours a week showing gumpy priviledged people how to get beat up. If you want to study Economics because you think it’s fun and want to exchange ideas, there’s probably a forum down the street from you. If you enjoy bad 70′s grindhouse cinema, there’s a forum online filled with a bunch of geeks like you, looking for lost gems.

    I use the above examples because that’s me, that’s my life. Your life can be as rich as you want it to be.

  • KtotheEtotheVtotheItotheN

    I’m leaning more towards this being a “reflection of societal demand and expectation.”

    I believe that this is simply how the majority of men/women in this country are and have always been (with the exception of the 1960s, when it was in vogue to be an activist, or at the very least give off the impression that you were faux intellectual). Yes, this topic is outdated… only because things never seems to change.

    If there were more women like you and your friends (i.e., bra-burners) in this country, then more programs would be developed that were geared towards your interests, sense of humor, etc. The fact that there aren’t more shows proves to me that you are the minority.

    Side bar: We live in a capitalist society. TV companies, TV show developers/programmers, and (especially) TV advertisers, are all motivated by profit. If their shows aren’t successful, then they are taken off of the air. Low ratings and low viewership means cancellation. Profit over people.

    I only have to reference my personal life to prove my point (i.e., about bra-burners being a “rare breed” in this country). At my present stage in life, I personally only know one(!) woman who is “intellectual” and actually cares about things happening in this world. We work together, she’s married with kids, 34 years old, etc. But I am conflicted, because she also watches crap like American Idol, Desperate Housewives, etc. And she joins right in with all of the other people here at work who spend 30 minutes everyday talking about what happened last night on Grey’s Anatomy, or who they like best on Dancing With The Stars. So, yeah, it’s a dilemma for me. I don’t know what to make of it…

    I will stop rambling. Nice article. You actually made me sit and think about it. OK, back to work for me!!

    Oh, and please continue to promote seexy bras and lingerie! Just because you’re smart/intellectual, it doesn’t mean that you can’t look and feel seexy for your significant other.

  • http://biznetis.net Kevin Krason

    We all make choices. It is sad that mass media creates a version of the world that is petty and self-conscious, fear ridden and manipulated. While I can’t fight the masses head-on, I can choose to ignore them.

    I will never understand the value of American Idol or The Bachelor but I have been forced to watch both at one time or another.

    I rarely complain because I see little value in it. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I’ll tout the positives. Join me in making the world a happy place!

  • Heather

    Curious as to why you selected this particular post for the Urbane Blog…

  • KtotheEtotheVtotheItotheN

    I’m at work right now, and there is about 12 people sitting around the lunch table. And they are ALL talking about The Bachelor. Men and women.

  • Jennifer

    Next time you hear “Did you catch last night’s The Bachelor/Top Model/Rock of Love?” I have a few ideas for responses:

    “No, but did you hear what they’re actually spending the stimulus money on?”
    “Do you think the US should provide more aid to the years-long mass genocide in Darfur?“

    —————————————————————
    Hmmmm… I think I might realize what the problem is…

  • http://veryofficialblog.com/ Shannon Paul

    Shauna, I adore you, and while I would have agreed with you in my late teens and early twenties, I have a different understanding these days.

    Even for those of us privileged enough to not experience the horrors of Darfur or unversed in the intricacies of international finance/macroeconomics or whatever bracket the stimulus package would occupy, the problems just feel too big. Not only that, exercising our opinions over dinner with others far removed from the situation seems more like a circle jerk than any attempt to solve real problems — more often conversations involving geopoliticalwhatever feel like self-congratulatory exercises in how smart *we* are… Of course *we* is dependent on the people engaged in the circle jerk…

    I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I bet the people in Darfur would be more interested in the Bachelor than what’s happening in their country, too… I’m just sayin’.

  • Matthew Dibble

    Add the world’s fascination with celebrity into this too. It has now become cliche to say “who gives a s*&$ what britney’s wearing” and everyone knows exactly what you’re talking about and your stance on a particular type of entertainment.

    The TV craze (I mean CRAZE, like 4 – 6 hours a day and you believe everything you see on it) started with the baby boomers, IMO, and hopefully it’ll die with them.

    And if not, I’ll continue along the same path I’m on which is not engaging in those conversations nor hanging around with people who do. Although I may soon have to move to a reservation in South Dakota.

  • Amber

    This blog entry was entertaining, at best, but mostly, I just feel sorry for you.

    While you and your “bra-burning bitches” (catchy title, by the way) rant and rave about why you aren’t getting boyfriends in your twenties, you have to sit back and consider one thing: is it because you are so intelligent and such a go-getter that you are single? Unlikely. Though I haven’t read anything else that you have written, it seems to me that your lack of appeal to men would probably stem from your bitterness and the fact that you place yourself on a pedestal above those “seemingly uneducated” girls (aka: the girls that have the life that you want).

    Sidenote: the “Girls Next Door” are independently wealthy and have strong careers. They know how to market themselves and do so extremely well, despite the medium in which they choose to do it. Monetization is monetization, no matter which way you cut it.

    While I don’t watch “The Bachelor” or any other reality television series regularly, I understand the need and desire to indulge in what you refer to as “mindless” entertainment. Think about the state of the economy right now across the United States and the issues that continue daily across the world. If you lost your job, your home, or as Shannon stated, had to deal with the genocide in Darfur first hand, what would you rather do with your day? Stress out about problems that are thousands of miles away or engage in some harmless media intake that has the possibility of making you smile?

    For someone that claims to be a “smart girl,” your point lacks substance and support (don’t get me started on the numerous grammatical errors). As you stumble through the English language and save the world from behind your keyboard, I’ll continue donating my efforts on the front lines for March of Dimes and volunteering at the Rose Center, and I still might find time to read the “Twilight” series.

    Instead of tipping someone else’s bucket to try to fill your own, perhaps you should do as Kevin stated and work on being more positive and less judgemental.

    I would love to continue, but I have a latte, a perfect life, and a gorgeous boyfriend to get back to. KISSES! ;)

  • http://twitter.com/HubertGAM Hubert

    @Heather
    I think the amount of comments kind of gives plenty reason for the post to be here. And in Shauna’s defense, I imagine that she really didn’t dwell too long on what folks might think about what she wrote. As a fellow blogger, I know how it can get interesting as to what piques someone’s interest. It’s obvious that it got people’s attention.

    @Shannon
    I believe you make a good point, but I don’t think that was what Shauna had really tackled. I see what she was saying was more of a declaration of the pursuit of a more purposeful life. I mean, what real purpose does watching the drama Whitney deals with on The City really have? Okay okay, let’s not get existential, but you get what I’m saying.
    Yeah, if we talk about Darfur at the dinner table, we are not really doing much. Yet, the fact we do know about it gives us the opportunity to possibly do something about it. Watching The City or Girls Next Door might mean you will miss these things that may be more pressing to humankind.

    Oof… the slightly dramatic has struck again on the UrbaneBlog. Heh, but not as dramatic as Amber’s comment. All the same, I still thank you for your comment and I hope you come back again soon!

  • Brandon

    Nice post. As a former Peace Corps Volunteer and someone very interested in international law and foreign relations, I gotta tell you . . . I must confess . . . I have a very guilty pleasure. Bad reality television and great, creative dramas — like Desperate Housewives!

    Everything in moderation!

  • @douggeiger

    I think that Shannon Paul sums it up for me too. The only thing that I would add is that American Idol, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Moore and even you are producing content that can be “enjoyed” on two levels: the surface, “hey, this is awesome!” and the meta-bitchy level, “can you believe anyone thinks this is awesome?!”

    And FWIW, men don’t fare any better…

  • http://shaunanicholson.com/blog/ shaunan

    Thanks for the comments, everyone. I agree, men have the same concerning behavior at times.

    I guess my concern in writing this blog post was to address those women I’ve come across who prioritize conversation topics around these mindless issues. Yes, they are absolutely mindless. Instead, bringing awareness and contributing to the greater global concerns is something worth respecting.

    And, yes Amber, you’re dead on. I’m unattractive and craving a lifestyle of male-supported coffee. I’m dreaming about it while perched on this gold-painted pedestal. Looking down on everyone is glorious. What the…?

  • Kasey

    I think the point of this whole thing is that we are above this kind of conversation. It was okay in high school, but as educated adults it’s our responsibility to have intelligent conversations with one another (at least part of the time). Sure we have all watched reality TV. It’s fine. It becomes a problem when the fact that we watch a particular show shines through as a personality trait.

    It’s not condescending to be frustrated when you hear people blathering on about the show they saw last night. It doesn’t bother me when the question “did you see show xyz last night?” is used as a conversation starter by someone who doesn’t know me. Instead of reality TV and world news, how about talking about your life, your family, things you like to do, a cool restaurant you have went to, or anything else happening in the real world.

  • Scott

    K.E.V.I.N. pointed out the capitalistic reason why we’re seeing so much reality TV these days, but I’ll give a variant on that.

    This kind of plays in to the idea of Cognitive Surplus that Clay Shirkey talks about here:

    http://blog.ted.com/2008/08/clay_shirky_on.php

    Overall TV is seeing a slump in viewership. While these reality shows are doing well in comparison to what else is on (and they are magnitudes of order cheaper to produce) I get the feeling that the audience they are pulling are the “leftovers” of people who haven’t figured out what they would really like to do with their free time.

    I actually had a conversation tonight with a women who watched the Bachelor, but said she only watched that kind of show because she was doing so many other things at the same time that she couldn’t devote her full attention to an episode of a show that required actual thought. I don’t know her well enough to know if I should believe her or not :-)

  • Amber

    Male-supported coffee? That is pretty presumptuous of you. Contrary to what you may assume, I am not a stay at home mom. I’m not unemployed. I don’t live off of daddy’s money, the boyfriend’s money, or any other form of “male-support.” In fact, the only male supporting my coffee today was the barista who added an extra shot of espresso to my latte.

    Thank you for proving my point about you being bitter and judgemental.

    I think that Kasey hit the nail on the head. We don’t need to allow ourselves to become consumed with the entertainment industry, reality television, or fictional story lines. Discussing life, family, events, or things that occur in the real world is more important than focusing a conversation around the latest episode of your favorite television program. Of course, I would never look down upon people or insult them for their personal decision to escape from reality once in awhile and indulge in a fictional novel or TV show. There are ways to offer opinions without insulting mass groups of people. Kasey did this really well. Perhaps she should be a guest blogger.

  • http://twitter.com/HubertGAM Hubert

    Wow…

  • http://shaunanicholson.com/blog/ shaunan

    Amber– Fair enough. I’ll run downstairs and ask her.

  • Kasey

    Amber,

    As much as I appreciate your praise about my comment I have to reject it since both of your posts have been mean spirited and lack substance completely. My previous post was meant to agree with Shauna. Notice she did not name any names in this blog or rant and rave about anyone in particular, because it was not directed at one specific person. The idea was to raise awareness about this growing and tragic trend. The fact that you are taking this blog post personally is unfortunate.

  • Adrian

    Amber, I don’t think she was judging the person but rather a prevailing attitude. I, as a minority of a different nature, can certainly agree that skewed thinking still endures in the world. I think it’s indicative of a society that loves its pop culture more than its classic culture. A generation of people raised on ideals that were fed them rather than ones they’ve adopted for themselves through honest exploration. Such a limited thinking results in a person being more susceptible to suggestion (which may in fact be the point where marketers are concerned) and prevents old/invalid thinking models from ever being flushed from the collective consciousness. These ideas become so inlaid that people even begin to fight attempts to evolve (even though they agree they’re unhealthy). It’s a vicious cycle that, if gone unchecked will continue indefinitely.

    From what I read in the original post, Shauna was not leveling a personal attack—rather, merely saying “subvert the dominant paradigm.” It’s an observation that any understanding intellectual can agree with and one that I certainly endorse.

  • Flez

    My gosh, Adrian, you are absolutely full of yourself.

  • Jennifer

    Oh for goodness sakes – people want to be entertained. What they find entertaining is up to them and after a long day at work and listening to the news, a little Real Housewives of Orange County is just the ticket. So what?

    No one wants to hear a pretentious Debbie Downer all the time and topics like American Idol are “safe” for work and social conversation. Some people can even be up on the latest political news AND what’s happening on the Real Housewives. It’s called fitting the conversation to the situation.

    Oh, and staying home to raise your children is not “being supported by a man” it’s working together as a family.

  • Matthew Dibble

    I would say American Idol is very UNSAFE for work and social conversation, especially if I don’t know you. If you lead with American Idol, I immediately make a judgement about you. Whether it’s intentional or not, it happens.

    BUT that is, I think, the essence of what this entire piece is about. The bottom line is “to each his own” and this is a great (albeit explosive) example of such.

    I happen to be on the side of the ones who don’t talk about The Girls Next Door, but I don’t dislike those who do. I simply steer clear of that conversation.

  • Babs

    Now there you go again Flez. Didn’t your mother teach you?

    Everyone, in unison: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

    If I weren’t married, I’d ask him? out for coffee. Now that woudl be a very interesting date.

  • Anonymous

    Babs, I’m sorry you are so easily offended, but why do you single me out for not being nice on this thread?

    Here is one of several comments which certainly do not qualify as nice : Amber says : “it seems to me that your lack of appeal to men would probably stem from your bitterness and the fact that you place yourself on a pedestal above those “seemingly uneducated” girls”

    So where is her rebuke, Babs? I think you suffer from selective outrage.

  • Babs

    Just fond memories, dear Flez, from our enlightened debate on the Somerset Collection :)

  • Rory

    First of all, I’m really interested in why this was posted on the Urbane Blog. All of the rest of the posts that I’ve skimmed seemed to be relevant to Royal Oak. With that said, the thought that this is the mentality of those living at Urbane (even if it’s not the majority, it’s obviously someone active in the Urbane community) I have to say I’m taking them off my list of potential places to live. I was thrilled to find that they offered so many things that are important to me, like a green conscience, a blog, etc.- things that show me they are modern and up to speed with things that are relevant to me. This blog post really let me down. I am an independent woman, a (fairly) recent college grad, employed full time and supporting myself. The idea that there are still people in this world that can so easily shut off the idea that people are multi-faceted beings scares me. Who wants friends that are so consumed with the everyday that they can’t take a time out to enjoy a laugh at the girls next door (Amber, I know they are smart enough to market themselves to become rich, but come on, sometimes the ridiculous of their lives is just plain funny). Who really wants to be so into one thing, one mindset, one way of life that they can’t even communicate with another person living in a totally different way. Sure, I get frustrated when I hear that group of girls in a bar or in line at the store with their “oh my gods, did you see this or that” because that’s not how or what I talk about, but it doesn’t mean that if I had to talk to one of them for a few minutes that they’d continue this behavior or want to chit chat about the Bachelor. If they did, then who am I just to end the conversation because I don’t like it or agree with it? This blog makes me think that you might be one of those people and that’s sad. You’re obviously active in the Urbane community and online- take some time to explore your world and find something new to look at or a new way to look at things. You might find something that’s currently out of your comfort zone and for you, that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

  • Jen

    I read this blog yesterday morning, and then re-read it last night.. and now this morning. I must say I’m new to the blogging world and I’ve never seen so much commotion over one blog post!

    I’m not exactly certain why I feel I need to add my 2 cents to this.. maybe it’s due to your second sentence “rather, my best friends are the kind of women you marry, but spend your 20s avoiding dating”. I’m almost 30, married, work full time in addition to owning 2 small businesses. I do not read Twilight and the only reality tv I watch is Hells Kitchen (my husband loves it). I will admit, I love the drama on Greys, and characters on Desperate Housewives crack me up. And on occasion I’m a sucker for Bridzillas or The Girls Next Store marathon as I clean and do laundry.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve found myself surrounded by females who are only chattering about what happened on NBC last night. Maybe it’s due to my age, or maybe it’s because I never watch tv live (thank goodness for dvr!) Regardless, I don’t think it means those females are “bumbling brats” or “uneducated”. I personally don’t think it’s fair to place judgment on those whose conversation is below what you believe a female in their 20′s should be discussing. For instance, yesterday afternoon the head story on CNN.com when I logged in was about a soldier telling his story about rapping small children. I’d much rather discuss with my girlfriends what we thought about “He’s just not that Into you” then the latest news. It doesn’t make me or my friends any less intelligent.

    As being someone who gives off terrible first impressions, I think you should ease up a bit. “Embarrassed to share my college degree accreditation with this manic audience base” are pretty harsh words, do you feel you’re better than these girls who discuss who’s getting eliminated on American Idol? And if you’re that appalled by such girls who in your opinion guys despise, maybe you shouldn’t associate yourself with them? Or better yet, tell them instead of bashing them on this blog.

    Maybe you’re not bashing any particular female, but then bashing all females in their 20′s might just be worse. My 20′s were an adventure, and I certainly had to learn a lot about myself to grow into the woman I am now. I know at the age of 22, I didn’t care what was going on in the news- I had more important events going on in my life, like learning how to adjust to the “real world” after college. I know I was devastated that Friends was going off the air, and I’m sure I had many conversations with my girls about it- but that doesn’t make me any less educated then you- nor any of the other negative things you have to say about these girls.

    If you’re angry about what airs on the television, then be like my best friend and refuse to own a tv. But please, don’t lump everyone together who discusses over the water cooler what is happening on Private Practice as they heat up their Lean Cuisine as “uneducated bumbling brats”.

  • Brandon

    Hey Rory,

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I hope you won’t take it out on Urbane that there’s a post here that you strongly disagree with. I’m a blogger here (didn’t write this post) and one of the really cool things about Urbane’s blog is that they don’t censor the material — they let us post about what we want. Not many apartment companies are brave enough to do that .

    I’m also a very happy Urbane Resident, by the way. I love my neighbors, love the social events, and love my little apartment right downtown. I’m currently looking for an apartment in Boston and it is not a pleasant experience. Some of the apartment companies there maintain blogs and facebook profiles — but they’re pure marketing, with nothing critical or interesting posted. Blah!

  • Anonymous

    This post has an angry and bitter tone so of course you are going to get angry and bitter comments. You fueled the fire on this one Shauna. This post is more suitable for a personal blog (since it is clearly your personal opinion) than a community blog that is directed at people across the spectrum. Way to bash a particular type of person that may potentially want to live at Urbane. How would you feel if someone posted a blog about they way you act, look or feel? Your feelings would probably be hurt.

  • Babs

    Flez?

  • http://twitter.com/HubertGAM Hubert

    People, it’s one person’s opinion. In fact, it was a whimsical one at that. IT WAS MEANT TO SPARK DISCUSSION.

    While we got some discussion all right, you guys are feeding into the same negativity you say you want to avoid. It doesn’t really make sense. If you ignore dealing with the crazy stuff in the news, then why do you feel the need to respond in angst to a blog post from someone you don’t know?

    I thank everyone for chiming in, really I do. I just want everyone to keep this into perspective. Think about how this really looks. I am separating the fact that I know Shauna and just seeing this discussion for what it is… a discussion. We do not have to agree with each other, but we can at least respect each other.

  • J

    You get back what you give. If you want reasonable discussion, then post a reasonable argument. When you go out of your way to be insulting in the original post, don’t get upset when people take offense and respond in kind.

  • http://shaunanicholson.com/blog/ shaunan

    This was NEVER an attack on stay-at-home moms. It was SIMPLY addressing the issue that SOME women have NOTHING BETTER to discuss than mindless reality TV shows. This discludes women who watch occasionally or actually have other things going on.
    I’m very sorry some readers took this personally. However, I think we all agree on this very basic premise.

  • Anonymous

    Please show me a woman who has “nothing better to discuss than mindless reality tv shows” (which might I add, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Twilight, and Lipstick Jungle are not reality tv shows). I work in an office that is 80% females, and I can guarantee that every single one of them would have something better to discuss than a tv show. You’re a female, you shouldn’t be so narrow minded about your gender.

  • http://www.urbanelobby.com/ Eric Brown

    Hello Everyone
    I received the first objection to this blog post yesterday shortly after it went up. I am the owner of this blog and Urbane Apartments. This blog is not about Urbane Apartments, it is about a lifestyle.

    We have six bloggers who contribute content herein to this blog If you follow us, they are a pretty spirited group. The material is not censored or edited. If you enjoy and find value in what the bloggers are contributing, great, we are glad you are here.

    It is the intent of the blog to highlight happenings and goings on in and around Royal Oak and SE MI. It is to highlight interesting people, new businesses, arts and music. But it is also about things are bothering people, and to hopefully make a difference in our local world here. I do not cast judgment on which blog posts achieve our goals.

    Everyone is invited to be here and post a comment. We only have ever asked that folks do not attack anyone and please be respectful.

    @Rory, Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I am sorry that you have taken such a strong offense, and have taken Urbane Apartments “off your list of potential places to live” We have a great product, with Hip and Cool Living Spaces. I would hope you may reconsider,

    Thanks to all who have commented here,

    Cheers! -Eric

  • http://www.laferle.com Cindy La Ferle

    Hooray — and I hear ya! What passes for “reality” on reality TV is a nightmare, especially for women who, like me, came of age in the 1970s and worked hard so that younger women could reach so much higher. I enjoy an escapist show sometimes, too, but all the hoopla over The Bachelor really mystifies me. We can do better.

    I’ve been catching up to “Mad Men” — am really impressed with it. Otherwise, there’s not much else on TV these days that rivets me.

  • Amber

    Shauna, your post comes off as offensive and one-sided, and the last anonymous poster is correct. You shouldn’t be so narrow-minded about your own gender. You seem to be a girl who prides herself on being smart and keeping up on world events and that is great. I am all for women in business and having a vast knowledge of numerous topics.

    What really irritates me is that you expect to get away with stereotyping women based on the programs they watch or the books that they read. Some of the terms that you used are cruel, harsh, and judgemental:

    “You prefer the bumbling brats who “discuss” American Idol and Twilight with their equally seemingly uneducated girlfriends”

    “I’m embarrassed to share my college degree accreditation with this manic audience base.”

    These comments and entire post have a bitter and attacking undertone. Right off the bat, you say how you and YOUR friends are the types of women men marry yet they avoid dating you. Enlighten me. Why do they avoid dating you and choose these other women that you speak so poorly of?

    If the Urbane community truly is uncensored, that’s wonderful. I’m glad that they trust people enough to do that, but when it starts to drive away business, that is something you may want to look into. As a young professional (which I assume you are), I would have had higher hopes that you would know what is appropriate vs. inappropriate to post on a public space that is associated with a business.

    As an educated, successful, employed female in a relationship who watches the news, volunteers in her community, and still finds time to enjoy a little “mindless” entertainment, I’m offended and it seems as though you’ve offended quite a few others as well.

    As Rory said, I hope that you are able to reach out, meet new people, and get out of your comfort zone instead of judging people based upon their likes and dislikes.

  • http://shaunanicholson.com/blog/ shaunan

    Amber,
    I’m not convinced you have read this completely. I’ve clarified the position and we actually AGREE on the issue.

    I reiterate:
    FROM THE POST: “In fairness, there is a time and place for a mental break and some mindless entertainment. However, this blog post is dedicated to the non-stop online, in person, and ratings climbing chatter surrounding the weekly addictions. It is clear this is above and beyond the occasionally mental break.”

    FROM COMMENTS: “This was NEVER an attack on stay-at-home moms. It was SIMPLY addressing the issue that SOME women have NOTHING BETTER to discuss than mindless reality TV shows. This discludes women who watch occasionally or actually have other things going on.”

    Also, don’t assume I’m single. As I had mentioned, “Of course, sometimes we’re all lucky and men with pulses shares our 20s with us; sometimes not.”

    And, yes, I expect to “get away” with not accepting behavior that embarrasses our society. Absolutely. It’s our right and obligation to do so, in my opinion. Sitting idly by and pretending it’s “acceptable” to do NOTHING BUT pour attention into irrelevant topics is irresponsible.
    _____

    I’m finished with this topic. It seems my initial point has been supported. Thanks everyone!

  • http://urbaneapts.com Eric Brown

    MikeP Your comment has been removed. That type of language and disrespect isn’t tolerated.

    It is a blog post folks, lets lighten up on each other a bit.

    =Eric

  • anon

    Soooo, anyone wanna watch The Hills?

  • Jen

    @ anon. LOL.. is LC (or whatever her name) still on that show?

  • Proud to Wear a Bra Grrrl

    Shauna,

    Glad to see you are “finished” with this topic since you decided to “start” the issue by blogging about it. I am not trying to ruffle your feathers, but c’mon.

    I have to agree with some of the other posts on here and comment that your original post was a bit confusing and whatever point you were really trying to make was not well communicated, at least this is my opinion. Also it seemed a bit out of place on this website.

    I do agree with you that mindless TV is a bit annoying, especially when it is on every channel these days, even TLC which I thought was supposed to be the Learning Channel? lol. And yes I was sickand tired of hearing about the Bachelor the other day! Who cares!

    However, trash TV has always had a place in our American culture to some degree. Before we even had TV there were soap operas/stories that were broadcasted over the radio airwaves that people/baby boomers tuned into every week. It’s an escape, a form of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it. And if some of our American citizens make a decision to only watch Trash TV, more power to them. Survival of the fittest I say! Let them be ill informed, it is not my problem.

    After reading all of these replys, comments, arguments, etc… I had to laugh. It seemed that most people did agree that the general population should spend more time on social problems, Darfur, gay rights, abortion rights, anti-abortion rights, government spending, the list is endless. So shouldn’t we all be out there trying to make a difference and raising awareness about the “important” things and not typing away on blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc.? It’s kind of ironic, don’t you think? But I digress..

    Gotta Run, need to buy a new frilly Pink Bra and listen to the afternoon NPR report.

    P.S. Many of the bad reality TV shows that are viewed in the States came from the other side of the pond (American Idol for example), so I am sure it is not just America that has a surplus of mindless TV viewers. Then again, Japan has some really crazy and pointless TV shows and they continue to beat us in test scores and product development, etc… so maybe trash TV actually makes you smarter? Maybe Obama will earmark a study on that topic. lol. Ok I’m done. Thank you for reading and have a fabulous day!

  • Matt Dibble

    Small minds discuss people.
    Average minds discuss events.
    Great minds discuss ideas.

    It’s an Eleanor Roosevelt statement from long ago. Shauna has simply updated it for todays discussion.

  • J

    Small minds are much distressed by little things. Great minds see them all but are not upset by them.
    Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 – 1680)

    I much prefer that quote – like how some people are so distressed about those who like to go about their lives doing and discussing what they enjoy.

  • http://www.julielefton.com Julie

    I don’t respond terribly often to blog posts but after reading everything mentioned above, I wanted to chime in.

    TV is a medium that is meant for communicating important information and entertainment. Does the entertainment overshadow the news; certainly. I don’t believe that is negative in today’s world. There are SO many networks that specialize in a specific topic, including news.

    That being said, most networks or programs target a group of people. This is where I find TV so unique compared to other forms of entertainment or communication (theater, music, other performing arts, books, etc). TV is very accessible. If you have cable (even the most basic of packages) you can expose yourself to shows that focus around fart jokes, shows that focus on world issues, shows that focus on the behavior of single people and so on. People must seek out the other mediums I mentioned above, thus in many cases ending up with like minded people. With a quick reach and touch of a button, a MSNBC watcher can end up knee deep in man’s dating crisis.

    Can it be annoying to catch some shows that bug the living daylights out of you; of course! But no one is trying to offend anyone, they are just trying to succeed on said channel and give someone enjoyment!

    I will admit, TV programs are a fun topic of conversation and debate!

  • Fucken Crap

    Crap!!

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